Final piece!

Artist Statement

Sweaty palms, skin that feels like fire, fluttering in my chest, trouble breathing, and restlessness are what I experience at least once a day. Anxiety has managed to take over my life. It begins with a thought that links to another thought which keeps going till I get to the most feared thought and then becomes an obsession. This obsessive, day ruining thought has successfully kept me from complete happiness. It has ruined dates, classes, movies, and everyday activities, because my brain cannot get past that intruding memory or worry. All of the other thoughts are sitting patiently behind it to be acknowledged but seem to never get their fair share of attention. The thought could be anything from boyfriend trouble to money to my biggest fear, death. It has completely debilitated my ability to function normally from day to day. I can complete all of my tasks but not to the 100%. Anxiety is something everyone has, but seems to effect me to the point of never wanting to deal with any situation.

With my work, I am using a main form to represent "the thought" and other patterns and drawings to be the other thoughts the are diminished and left behind due to this obstruction. All of the other thoughts begin to become less important regardless of how important they really are. Nothing has seemed to help this problem and art seems to increase it. By sitting and drawing or line etching, my focus tends to stick with the toxic idea and being alone with the canvas only isolates me from other, more happy things.

Phase 3

Phase 3 was going to be a canvas with the same paper cut outs but probably color. THEEEEEN, it was going to be a somewhat 3D piece with cut out "orbs" with paint or drawings on it with some sort of paper web coming up from underneath it taking it over, on the floor.. Then it was going to be on the wall....now I have some orbs cut out and drawn on, but now after doing some etchings, I think I am going to do a larger canvas with my new found drawing obsession. The idea is still the same about an existing thought that will not let others connect or become prominent in my brain.

Phase 2 Final piece

Phase 2 final piece came out ok! Butttttt, it did not come out as planned. I had an ok critique but now that my work has moved in a completely different direction, my 3rd phase has changed!! Phase 2 is nice but it does make me want to work with color more and be a little more inventive with shapes, forms, lines, and color!

Lisa Yuskavage/ Artist Talks

Last Wednesday I went to the reception for Lisa Yuskavage, but she never showed....we all literally sat around ate cheese and crackers and waited for her to attend. She had a lecture that night at 6 pm but I could not make it due to previous engagements. I was really looking forward to meeting her and listening to her talk because her work is very interesting and I would like to know more about it! Her work is very sexual and curious. Sometimes you dont even know what is going on.


I have also been going to artist talks every wednesday at 315 in Kennedy...I have seen some great visiting artist talks....most are graduates from here, some from Yale etc....I cannot for the life of me remember any of their names I have seen so many but will find out who everyone was!!! Anyways these talks are good to go to for 2D artists because it shows you what other people are doing and what is being acknowledged! For example one woman was doing a lot of political work about herself as the president and how women could change the world. Another MassArt graduate did videos and paintings about cat people and it was all in Japanese. She had the same technique as William Kentridge....she would paint and paint layers and move objects within the canvas creating a film. At the end of her process she would exhibit the final painting as well as the video. This is something I wish Kentridge would do with his charcoal drawings!

WIlliam Kentridge

William Kentridge is seriously so amazing! I went to his exhibit at MassArt last week and was truly astounded at the amount of work he had! I have seen many of his videos and have been moved by them, but seeing his prints was so inspirational because of his unusual techniques. On one of the prints it was done with a soft ground which is a thinner resist for etching in which he created a man out of his own thumbprints. He made sure each mark made a shadow or created a form! His videos are all very political, usually about oppression and power. I am overwhelmed with his patience and genius! What is also interesting is Fred printed one of the prints in the show with Kentridge himself! Great show!!

Plans for Phase 2

I would like to continue with the same theme of anxiety in my work, but want to follow through with my original plan of materials! I would like to get a large canvas and draw with markers and possibly use chalk ( because I liked the effect) and then collage on a large sheet of paper in the shape of the "obstruction" shape in the others......i want this to come off the canvas and flow onto the wall....showing that it is overwhelming and taking over in a sense....I have been experimenting with drawing and collaging so I feel as though I am gaining some familiarity with other patterns and forms! I am excited for Phase 2!

Final product phase 1

Soooooo. things did not go as planned...i ended up using some sort of poster illustration board...yes because of financial issues lol instead of canvas...i also used markers like i had said but ended up collaging old drawings on top. I also used black chalk to make the piece more dimensional....i am satisfied with the product but do not want the other pieces to look like this.

1st phasee!

So i decided to do the first phase on hannemule paper which is a soft printmaking paper which works well with all types of materials....it is about 22 x 30. I have thought about the semester and have decided to do the first phase very flat, the second on canvas, and the third canvas with some sort of sculptural element coming off or away from it. I hope to get across the idea that this main thought or anxiety is not going away and only growing larger or becoming more of an obstruction! well back to work on phase 1!!!

Methods for Investigation

For this semester I am doing prints of the drawings I have done with pencil and sharpies! I feel that this will transfer nicely, but for this class I plan on doing large paintings/drawings on canvas! soooo.....

1. Will paint be a successful medium for the type of work I am doing?

2. What can I do to get the sharp edges I want?

3. Should I just draw on the canvas instead of using paint? Or both?

4. Should I use color or just black and white like my drawings?

5. Even though I am experienced in paint....will paint be too much of a challenge for this type of work and is it worth the risk of failure?

From writing these questions down, I have come to the conclusion I will be using markers along with paint. I also want to stick with the black and white considering most of my work is overwhelming with color! I am excited to do these pieces because I have fallen in love with detailed drawing and cant wait to sit and create!!!! wish me luck!!!

As an artist.....

As an artist, my inspiration comes from the environment surrounding me. This could be the trees, sky, flowers, and people. My work in the past few years has been based on expression of my feelings about people I am close to and later about first impressions. After completing these works, I moved on to a 5 x 5 ft painting about myself. This was all intuitive, like the others, and was an initial reaction to how I felt inside. This painting led me to do many prints based on creating a serene place for me to escape to when all the feelings I had were negative. My work now is based on my anxiety and how it has effected so many things in my life! I guess you could say my inspiration is myself and all the events that have led up to creating what is now...me! I have always been inspired by nature and its organic forms such as nebulas and novas, clouds and the way rocks form on the ground. Some artists I like to look at are Gustav Klimt, Yayoi Kusama, and Jackson Pollock.

My working environment and working process is usually in my cramped bedroom with a tarp on the floor with my canvas, paints, and buckets of water spread around me. I am very unorganized and like to use rags and paint brushes to collect water and drip and splash the canvas! I used to have to room silent as to only have my thoughts on focus, but now I like to have music playing or the tv going, usually just for background noise. I leave myself enough room around the canvas to walk around and look at it and work from above. I do not like easels for 2 reasons...First of all because of my technique, I do not want the paint to drip down the canvas! I don't like gravity!!!! just kidding its fine....but also because I have a much different perspective of the piece that others don't have while looking at it on the wall.

My motivation is to basically get all these feelings and emotions out of body and onto a canvas! When I have a lot to say, I need to say it or it will only blow up and probably end badly! I also feel as though some of my works are like tributes to the people I have lost. This is another reason for wanting to do art. Even though I know I can never go to the places I have created for myself to escape to, it is nice to look at them and think about how beautiful they are and how wonderful it would be to be floating around in these celestial novas!

I have to admit I do not do much reading. I look at a lot of books and magazines such as national geographic, but do not read much more than a caption or two. I have read psychology books because I was very interested in anxiety and the function of the brain. Someone give me some suggestions!?! thanks!

The most inspiring person to me is Nancy Cusack. Nancy has done everything and has been everywhere! She is wonderful person and artist! She was my freshman year Drawing teacher and I later went to Puebla, Mexico with her to explore and learn about Mexican culture and art. Nancy used to be a art therapist which is my future career goal. She has helped me through thick and thin and has made such an impact on the artist I am today. Nancy is very well known, has friends around the world, and knows what she wants in life. She is determined, driven, smart, and one of the classiest women I have ever met! Nancy is a good friend of mine and will always be so inspiring to me!

School has officially started!

Sooooooo. First day of Portfolio! I'm excited because this semester is set up similarly to the last class I took with Lyssa. We are given a lot of breathing room with the assignments and are able to alter them to fit our wants and needs when it comes to our work! I am thinking about doing some work based on the ideas of structure and chaos? This is more focused on mark making and style than actual events. This would be a mix between my first semester junior year and second semester junior year. I also want to work with other materials and try to incorporate more drawing and not soooo much painting. This idea came to me this summer while I was lying on the beach with my boyfriend looking up at the clouds......corny i know! hahah anyways we were telling each other what we saw and sean told me that the reason we think we see things in the clouds is because our brains don't like chaos and it feels the need to make sense of what is sees. This is what my work is loosely based off this semester but we'll see!!!!